My sense of wonder is just a little tired
~Lost by Dermot Kennedy~
When I first listened to the song ‘Lost’ by Dermot Kennedy, this lyric resonated with me. I thought to myself, ‘I know that feeling’. It’s a hard feeling to describe, but I’ve felt it many times in my life. Dermot Kennedy put words on a feeling that I didn’t know how to name before.
Why does it resonate? Where shall I begin! Busyness, sleeplessness, college stress and now Coronavirus anxiety attempt to steal my joy and wear out my sense of wonder. So, how can I describe it? What it is like for ‘my sense of wonder’ to be a little tired? It’s a weariness with the way of the world; a feeling of tiredness that never goes away; a loss of excitement; a difficulty experiencing joy; an inability to see the beauty in others.
As I was pondering this, God brought two verses to mind which describe a similar feeling:
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” (Psalm 73:26)
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life” (Proverbs 13:12)
‘To wonder’ means: to marvel, to desire to know, to express admiration or amazement. A sense of wonder is not something that I want to lose.
In the midst of the Coronavirus pandemic, we’ve been called into a lifestyle of social distancing. I can no longer work in my preschool or attend my college lectures. I can no longer visit friends and loved ones in person, go to church, or visit cafes or restaurants. The funny thing about ‘social distancing’, however, is that it lends itself well to wandering alone in nature and enjoying God’s creation.
I have a personal and moral responsibility to steer clear of other people at the moment, but I don’t have to flee from God or His creation. In His grace and kindness, God is ministering to my wearied sense of wonder in this reality.
He restores my sense of wonder as I walk by a trickling stream.
He restores my sense of wonder as I see the waves pull back before crashing on the sand once again.
He restores my sense of wonder as I discover that springtime flowers are in bloom – daffodils, primroses, and my favourite, bluebells.
He restores my sense of wonder as I see a robin picking moss from the grass to build its nest.
The Bible speaks often about how nature proclaims the glory of God, and how God ministers to us through His creation. Read and meditate on His Word. Let your sense of wonder be renewed:
“O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens” Psalm 8:1
“The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.” Psalm 19:1
“On the glorious splendour of your majesty, and on your wondrous works, I will meditate.” Psalm 145:5
‘Thus says God, the Lord, who created the heavens and stretched them out, who spread out the earth and what comes from it, who gives breath to the people on it and spirit to those who walk in it: “I am the Lord; I have called you in righteousness; I will take you by the hand and keep you”’ Isaiah 42:5-6
‘For thus says the Lord, who created the heavens (he is God!), who formed the earth and made it (he established it; he did not create it empty, he formed it to be inhabited!): “I am the Lord, and there is no other.”’ Isaiah 45:18
“Thus says the LORD, who gives the sun for light by day and the fixed order of the moon and the stars for light by night, who stirs up the sea so that its waves roar.” Jerimiah 31:35
“For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.” Romans 1:19-20
“And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him, if indeed you continue in the faith, stable and steadfast, not shifting from the hope of the gospel that you heard, which has been proclaimed in all creation under heaven, and of which I, Paul, became a minister.” Colossians 1:21-23