I’ve always been a quieter person. As a child I was shy, and unsure of myself. If asked a question, my most frequent response was ‘I’m not sure’ or ‘I don’t know’. I was self-conscious and found it hard to express myself. Even my granddad expressed concern to my mum at one point! As a father to five, and a grandfather to many more, I’m sure he knew all there was to know about growing up well. Being able to verbally express oneself from a young age is a foundational life skill. As an adult, I understand my granddads worry. I now work with young children under the age of six in a preschool, where I have the opportunity to help and support children as they are developing social skills, amongst other things. Again and again, I’m so encouraged by children developing the ability to express their needs and feelings, grow in their use of social skills and display confidence.
As an adult, it’s easier to put words on childhood experiences. As an adult, I can say with confidence that I was a shy and insecure child, often prone to feelings of self-consciousness. As an adult, I’m not insecure in the same way. I’ve grown and changed…. But the hallmarks of insecurity are still there. I don’t live an insecure existence, but I have times where I find myself falling back into trademarks of insecurity – questioning my value, talking myself out of sharing my true feelings and views, comparing myself to others.
We all have times when we worry and doubt, when we question our worth. I’ve come to understand this as part of being a woman, as part of being human and sinful, as part of living in a fallen world. Feelings of insecurity, self-consciousness and self-doubt are not fun, but we don’t have to wallow in them.
Jesus reveals to us the ugliness of our sin and doubt, not to shame us, but to point us to the cross. He willingly became a sacrifice on the cross for all sin for all time, to make peace with God, securing forever my relationship with Him. That is what security looks like – peace with God through Jesus Christ. What’s more, God loves, values and accepts us as we are, irrelevant of our current view of ourselves. He values us. Isaiah 54:5 says, “For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name; the Holy One of Israel is your redeemer, the God of the whole earth He is called”. This God chooses to call us, call me, His bride. God created us, knows our flaws, yet chose us still, “But now thus says the Lord, He who created you, O Jacob, He who formed you, O Israel: ‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine’” (Isaiah 43:1).
This reality squashes my insecurity. God is my security.
If I feel insecure, it’s because I’m looking for my security in the wrong places – a job, a person, a relationship. These things can change over time, come and go.
My security is in God.
He is unchanging (Hebrews 13:8).
His love is steadfast, enduring forever (Psalm 100:5).
I am loved, valued and cherished by this God.
P.S. I will be back to read this post again next time I feel insecure!